By Jicel Reve Supera Gabriel
TELLING the truth takes courage. Inasmuch as we want to be truthful at all times, we fall short of doing so. Telling the truth is easier said than done. The same is true of making confessions. But of the many kinds of confessions, a love confession is harder, much more when there’s a serious lack of confidence.
This lack of confidence stems from a fear of rejection, which is normal during courtship. But why get scared when confessions of love are the sweetest music to a woman’s ear? Then again, that all depends on who’s confessing and how it’s being said. This is where the fear comes in – when you think you might not say the right words she wanted to hear and when you’re apprehensive whether she minds you telling her or not. These, however, shouldn’t get into your nerves. But if it does, well, at least don’t let it get in the way of your love interest. But how? Here are a few things to consider:
Learn to adjust your personality. If you’re the shy type, speaking out is never easy. Worse if you’re the inexperienced kind, since knowing the drill is essential in courtship. But you know yourself better and being aware of your personality gives you a panoramic view of what to develop in yourself, including self-confidence. Women can smell fear. Certainly, they know if you have confidence or not. Guts, though, might compensate for inexperience.
Do not assume. Assumptions can be dangerous even if things seem obvious. If you feel that something “more than friendship” is happening, then be more transparent. It’s not a crime to ask what’s going on between you. Think and talk it over. Women appreciate it when they know what they should feel and where should they stand. So, whatever it is inside you, express it. She deserves to know the truth straight from you.
Stop denying. The tendency to deny stems from the fear of being rejected. Most of the time, people deny to save face. On the contrary, denial is the weakest defense. If your love expressions are palpable to others especially to her, what’s the point of denying these? Well, at some point, men bring up irrelevant excuses and before they know it, they’re already lying. So, be honest – if not with those around you, then at least with her. Otherwise, you’ll both end up hurting each other’s pride, if not feelings. So, express yourself. If the girl asks you, admit it. Break your silence or else it will break you.
Sharing personal feelings can be embarrassing. Yet, if these feelings are romantic, they’re more of a challenge than an embarrassment. It takes courage to be up to the challenge, but the rewards can be priceless, regardless of whether she dumps you or accepts you. This isn’t about getting your dream woman to say that sweet “Yes.” It’s about you knowing how to take reasonable risks without hurting or compromising her emotions or yours, let alone, without regretting what you didn’t do.
Taking risks does not necessarily mean being reckless. But if you are afraid to do so, you are depriving yourself of the possibility of being happy, of making someone happy. Would you rather allow her to just walk away without a word from you? Confess your love. It’s now or never.