Four lovely women who love every minute of singlehood
By Deneb Batucan
IT’S that time of the year again when all you seem to hear on the radio are love songs. Hearts, flowers and cuddly things grow like mushrooms here and there as the warm February evening air envelopes you into a love-filled embrace. Valentine’s Day has come, and just like any other year, the ladies swoon as the lads try and fumble their way to make their best lady smile.
But let’s look at the other side of the coin. As much as there are tons of couples in this world, so are there many single men and women who are probably dreading this lovey-dovey occasion. But should they?
Sun.Star Weekend rounded up four gorgeous Cebuanas who are loving every minute of their singlehood. These single ladies are young, independent and free — and they’re here to explain to us why being single isn’t as dreadful as some may say and shouldn’t be shunned as some sad lifestyle choice.
Alex Eturma, 24
Freelance associate producer and writer, occasional stylist and makeup artist
I HAVE BEEN SINGLE FOR: Eight months now.
SINGLE BY CHOICE OR CIRCUMSTANCE: By circumstance.
FROM MY PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS, I LEARNED: That when you’re in a relationship, you have to know how to balance things since you’re not just deciding for yourself but you have to consider the other person’s feelings. You have to be the right amount of selfless, as well as you have to know your worth.
I LOVE BEING SINGLE BECAUSE: Of freedom! When I was in a relationship, I had a lot of restrictions. At home, I already have strict grandparents so I already have a lot of restrictions even without my previous significant others. I felt like I was being choked to death. So when I got into the single life, I got into self-discovery. I experienced so much freedom. I did everything and anything on my own terms. I feel happy and free!
TIPS ON HOW TO BE YOUR BEST SELF WHILE WAITING FOR “THE ONE”: First of all, you shouldn’t keep searching for or keep waiting for “the one” because I think the best things come unexpectedly and they hit you hard in the face! Self-discovery is important. Also, know your worth and be open to any possibility. Grab freedom with both hands and have as much experiences as you can — both bad and good because you’ll only know how good good is when you’ve gone through the bad. Make decisions for yourself. It’s the best time to be selfish.
THIS VALENTINE’S DAY, I WILL BE: Doing the Sunday routine at the Eturma household — stay home with the family and spend time with my dog. Then I’ll go to church and have dinner with my family.
Nicole Batucan, 21
Community manager, sports and travel enthusiast
I HAVE BEEN SINGLE FOR: Three months.
SINGLE BY CHOICE OR CIRCUMSTANCE: By choice.
FROM MY PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS, I LEARNED: That I shouldn’t allow people to tell me who to hang out with or what I should do. I already have my parents to do that. I was in a relationship for three years and when I let go of the relationship, it was there I realized that I had a very strict boyfriend. He kept me from seeing my other friends, the friends he didn’t want me to hang out with. Now I’m enjoying the single life. Since the start of the year, I haven’t been home during the weekends.
It was a sign from God that I shouldn’t be in a relationship. We were moving too fast. We were already talking about weddings and things. Now that I’m single, I realized that it’s too early to settle down.
I LOVE BEING SINGLE BECAUSE: Of the fact that I could go anywhere without answering to anyone. And that my parents don’t have to worry about me getting pregnant. LOL. And I get to enjoy life!
TIPS ON HOW TO BE YOUR BEST SELF WHILE WAITING FOR “THE ONE”: Love yourself. Find what you really want to do with your life. Since you aren’t really focusing on anyone else, then focus on your goals and what you want to do. It’s easier then when you find that “one” person. He or she will be just an addition to an already whole you. At least if he or she leaves, you won’t be broken.
THIS VALENTINE’S DAY, I WILL BE: Watching Deadpool with my friends!
Physician’s assistant, theater performer, musician and ballet instructor
I HAVE BEEN SINGLE FOR: Three years now. My previous relationship lasted for six years.
SINGLE BY CHOICE OR CIRCUMSTANCE: Under a circumstance. We came into a decision that compromised the relationship.
FROM MY PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS, I LEARNED: That it’s more of exploring more of yourself. If it were not to me being single, I wouldn’t open or allow myself to jump into the unknown and explore more of what I can do as an individual. And decision-making has been made easier because before when I was in a relationship, I had to consult my parents, my boyfriend and then myself. Now I just have my parents and me, but more so on my own decisions.
I LOVE BEING SINGLE BECAUSE: Being single = free. I’ve never had much personal space because I had my relationship my whole college life until we graduated from the same course. It’s more about being independent. I don’t know if it was because I’m single that opportunities came or it was because I was single that I grabbed the opportunity. But being single… it feels so good! Being single for me is actually a blessing and not a worry because it has opened the doors for me and my personal growth.
TIPS ON HOW TO BE YOUR BEST SELF WHILE WAITING FOR “THE ONE”: Do what you love. I think that’s the most important thing in life. So long as you know what you’re doing, never have any regrets. Also, never chase anyone. If that person comes, you just have to wait. One step forward, two steps backward.
THIS VALENTINE’S DAY, I WILL BE: Gigging! This is my third year doing a gig on Valentine’s Day. If I won’t feel kilig, that I will let everyone feel kilig on that day!
Nicole Blackman, 20
Freelance model, actress, musician and songwriter
I HAVE BEEN SINGLE FOR: Almost three years now.
SINGLE BY CHOICE OR CIRCUMSTANCE: By circumstance.
FROM MY PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS, I LEARNED: To just take things slow. I’ve learned to take things slow because I usually take things too fast or move too fast. I fall in love too easily… or at least I think I was in love. But then later on, I realize that I wasn’t really in love with this certain person and end up breaking the relationship.
I LOVE BEING SINGLE BECAUSE: Of freedom. And I have more money. When I’m in a relationship, I tend to spend a lot.
TIPS ON HOW TO BE YOUR BEST SELF WHILE WAITING FOR “THE ONE”: Sometimes you meet “the one” — at least you think he or she is “the one”— but it’s the circumstances that ruin you. I’m not really thinking about “the one” right now. I’m just living and enjoying my life. I just keep myself busy and focus on the things that are more important like building my career as a musician and an actor.
THIS VALENTINE’S DAY, I WILL BE: At home with my guitar/ukulele, writing songs. Or maybe I’ll have a gig!
These four beautiful and talented single ladies are kicking it in their own respective fields and, generally, in life — and so should you. Do that one thing you’ve always wanted to do. Go to that one place you’ve always wanted to visit. Achieve the things that you want to achieve and build yourself to the lid.
And if that special someone comes, welcome them. Tell them your stories, teach them your ways and vice versa. But if they leave, let them be. As Phil Kaye and Sarah Kay says, “Love arrives exactly when love is supposed to and love leaves exactly when love must.” But until then, enjoy being single.
Photos: Alfred Gregory E. Bartolome
Make-up Artist: Carlo Damolo
Hair Stylist: Jerwin Bastatas
Locale: Montebello Villa Hotel
Clothes by: Let’s Stylize by Feline